HEY … “That Guy” (Friday Blog Series)

By Richard Maloof

The HEY … “That Guy” blog series will be light reading and give you a little something to laugh at before the weekend.

Today was one of those days where I know I need to go to the gym and I have no idea what I am going to do. I had worked out all week so I am a little tired and just want to break a sweat and I will be happy. As I put my headphones on I hit the bench press, nothing better then just shocking your body with a bar of weight dangling over your head. I start there as the beginning of a very impromptu workout session that will create a few beads of sweat on my forehead.

I start out with chest and then I decide to hit the lat pull-down machine. Ok, I am feeling good so lets throw some curls in there with a side of tricep pull-downs then abs. As I continue gaining momentum while waking up my body I keep looking around for a few more sets that might peak my interest.

I walk around and I see a military press machine, you don’t find these in a lot of gyms anymore because so many people were hurting themselves doing the exercise wrong. Damn, someone is on it, but they should be done soon because it’s a 3-4 set machine and you are done.

I occupy my time while waiting for the press machine to open up. I finish another set and then another. I am behind this guy, so I can only see his back and notice that he is not moving anything but his arms. I decide to walk around the other side to get a view of what is holding this guy up on the machine I need to finish my day.

As I turn the corner I discover “That Guy” has hijacked the machine I have been waiting for!  As the blood rushes to my head at my discovery, I start to take my headphones out of my ear for what is going to be a polite, “are you done yet? My boy who is definitely not a regular gym attendee is texting in between sets! Ok, really? I am sorry but if you cannot put your cell phone down for 30 minutes to workout, stay home. Hey “That Guy,” I know you are waiting on the President to call and in the meantime texting a super model, but please remove your biker shorts off of my machine!

HEY … “That Guy” (Texting While Working Out Guy)