Hey … “That Guy”

By: Richard Maloof

Today started off as one of those days where my intention of going to the gym was good, but I was moving slowly. I had a cup of coffee, and gave myself that ever faithful rehearsed pep talk … “you’ll feel so much better if you go.”  So I put on my shoes, grabbed my ear buds, and headed out.

Traffic was bad because school is in session, and I left 30 minutes past the usual departure time. There is this traffic window that you have to hit from 6 – 6:30am, or you will be seeing red taillights for miles.

I finally pulled into the gym, and made my way to the lat pull down machine. I always start there because it really stretches me out, and gets the blood flowing quickly. I finished the warm-up, grabbed my water, and headed back to the other side of the gym where all the free weights are.

The gym was not very crowded by this time of the morning, making it easy to get on the machines. I was minding my own business, listening to Drake, and getting ready to get this over with … then, in an instant, my focus shifted. I was startled by the quick jerking movements of this guy’s arms flailing in the air … was this guy having a seizure??!!

I watched for a second in that “train wreck” type trance, as when you cannot move your eyes, even if you wanted to. No, no … please tell me I am dreaming! “That Guy,” with his loose fitting OP tank top on, was in concert … air drums at 7:25am! I flashed back to my tennis racket air guitar days, jamming to the Crue, but I was at home and I was only 12.

There is no song, and I love the 80’s, that would make me bust out into full “air” instrument mode let alone do it in public. It’s one of those moments when you want to pull your boy aside and tell him that “guy code” requires me to tell him to stop. I honestly did not have the energy to deal with that this morning, as I was just trying to finish my workout.

The workout ended, and I didn’t have the pleasure of seeing the band formerly known as “That Guy” again. I am sure he was most likely on the tour bus. I do appreciate a quick flashback into time with my wooden “air guitar” racket, but that time is over. Like I said, no song can make me bust out the “air” instrument, but don’t let Hammer come on, because I will dance … break it down … stop, Hammer time! … haha!