HEY … “That Guy” (Friday Blog Series)

By Richard Maloof

The HEY … “That Guy” blog series will be light reading and give you a little something to laugh at before the weekend.

It’s Friday, and I love Friday! It’s that day of the week when everyone has a little extra energy and overall in a decent mood knowing that the weekend is in sight.

I have decided that I am going to go to one of my favorite coffee shops that I frequent when I am in Austin. As I am driving there at 7:15, I crack the windows to enjoy the cool 82 degrees because soon it will be 99! I exit and make my way to this outdoor establishment that attracts everyone from artists and musicians to college kids and triathletes. The people watching is amazing and as you know, I love to people watch.

I order my Triple Cappuccino and settle in to my seat to take in the air and all the cool people that have gathered. As the froth hits my lips I start to have heart palpitations and my hands start to shake. My hair starts to tingle next as I hear what sounds like M-80’s igniting in a metal garbage can. I slowly place my cappuccino on the table and look into the street to see my Friday dose of “That Guy!”

I double-check my phone to make sure I have the right time, yes its 7:40am. My eyes re-focus on what appears to be a 1985 Caprice. The best description of the car that I can give you is that it looked like a hand painted Jolly Rancher. The car color or ridiculous rims don’t even phase me, it’s the pair of 15” subwoofers running off of a 30 watt amp!

It sounds like the trunk is getting ready to explode and decapitate some innocent cyclist. I do not hear any other music coming from the car, just bass. Dude, it’s 7:40am and you are embarrassing yourself … stop! I know you’re a gangsta and you ride dirty, but can you wait until maybe noon!

HEY … “That Guy” (Loud Subwoofer Guy)