HEY … “That Guy” (Friday Blog Series)

By Richard Maloof

The HEY … “That Guy” blog series will be light reading and give you a little something to laugh at before the weekend.

HEY … “That Guy” (Bluetooth Earpiece Guy)

The one great thing about traveling is that you are always exposed to new people who you usually do not see in your three-mile radius of life. I make it a habit of always trying to get to the airport a few hours early so I can fill my tank on people watching. Traveling to and from California always yields the best viewing opportunities in terms of beautiful people, and “That Guy” knows this all so well!

As the barista calls out Triple Latte for Richard, my caffeine addiction is serious and I have no shame about it, I grab it and make my way to the Southwest gate with my A 53 boarding pass number. The lineup is always such a fun ordeal with everyone holding their boarding pass like we are playing in the World Series of Poker. No one wants to show their number/hand in hopes that they can move up a little further in line; I have seen men almost throw down because of it.

The line is complete and everyone has assumed his or her rightful spot according to their boarding pass number. There are three beautiful women that have formed a triangle around me based on chance and I know “That Guy” cannot be far from me! As I am texting my buddy Scotty, I hear what possibly might be “That Guy” and Mark Zuckerberg closing a deal to buy Facebook … WTH!? I turn around to see “That Guy” screaming into the air, “This is my final offer and we are a million dollars apart.” He turned and looked at me, I smiled, my people watching tank was now full!

The Bluetooth earpiece is so awkward and it still looks like you are talking to yourself! My biggest issue, and call me crazy, but I thought they were invented to be used in cars. Listen, “Bluetooth Earpiece Guy,” no one cares! … you are trying so hard to look and sound important but your rubber soled shoes and un-tailored suit says otherwise!